Etiquette,
50's Style
Author: Sherril
Steele-Carlin
When you rewind the 50s, chances
are you think of simpler times when families were closer and
life was less harried and stressed. People knew their neighbors
and were decent to each other. They had "manners," or as Amy
Vanderbilt, the "Ms. Manners" guru of the time would say, "good
etiquette." Perhaps that's one of the things that distinguishes
our modern society from time in the 50s. Most people were just
nicer to each other back then, and a lot of them had Amy
Vanderbilt to thank for it.
That's not to say manners were
simply second nature 40 or 50 years ago. They weren't, as
Vanderbilt's 1954 "Complete Book of Etiquette" clearly shows.
She devotes the first twelve chapters of the book to Weddings,
Honeymoons, and Anniversaries, oh, and there's an entire chapter
devoted to "The Smoking Problem," so it's true some
things never change!
Some of Vanderbilt's advice seems
a bit outmoded today, such as this advice for men "The vest is,
quite obviously from the look of the back of it, a piece of
apparel to be worn under a coat." Or this advice for women, "In
the summer your basic town, dress hat will probably be a
well-designed, simple black, navy, or white straw or one in
toast or natural tones, depending on your going-to-town
wardrobe."
The book is full of nuggets of
etiquette wisdom, from when to rise from the table at a dinner
party to what to wear for business and pleasure. There were so
many rules, it seems hard to imagine that anyone could possibly
remember them all, and that's one reason Vanderbilt's book was
so popular. For many, it was the etiquette Bible of the time,
and a must for every "proper" household in America.
Entertaining was still more
formal, and so were special events such as birthdays and
weddings. Americans wanted to know how to act and what to say,
and Vanderbilt was right by their side with this book. The 1954
version contains nearly 700 pages of wit and wisdom, so it's
easy to see just how important good manners were to most 50s
families.
Keeping house was a bit more
complicated back then, too. Vanderbilt devotes several hefty
chapters to Household Management, and includes many pearls of
etiquette wisdom for young housewives. Here's one, "Wisest of
all is the careful hostess' habit of washing her party glasses
herself after a late party, not leaving them to be done –
probably carelessly – with the breakfast dishes." And another,
"Breakfast is the one meal at which it is permissible to read
the paper, mail, or anything else that suits your fancy."
However, much of her advice is
just as timely today as when she wrote it in 1954. For example,
in her chapter on "Dress and Manners" she notes, "Courtesy is a
superficial name for actions that can have a very important
place in the character building of a human being." Sadly, much
of that courtesy seems lacking in today's world, and perhaps
that's why we long so much for the simpler times of the 50s when
courtesy was common and highly important to most people. So, for
a nostalgic look back at dress, manners, household management in
the 50s, find a copy of Amy Vanderbilt's "Complete Book of
Etiquette," and be prepared for a real blast of manners from the
past!
About the
Author: Sherril Steele-Carlin is
a freelance writer and researcher in Reno, Nevada. Her work has
appeared in numerous national publications including American
Profile, Highways, Pool & Spa, and many more.
Go
to Rewind the Fifties Home
