The Side Draft Ride

I sat down on the right fender of the hoodless car, and then rolled over onto my hip. I wrapped my left leg around the top of the radiator, and then set the heel of my foot against the grill. My right foot was set in between the front bumper and the car body sideways. I reach over the four-cylinder motor and took hold of the hood hinge with my left hand. I put the screwdriver in my right hand, into the slot of the adjusting screw of the side draft carburetor, and then nodded to Dick behind the wheel of the Alfa Romero.
Dick was having problems adjusting the two side draft carburetors, so he called me, and asked if I could come over and give him a hand. I should have known better, then to be the one lying on the fender.

The car started off bucking, jerking and popping, but as I turned the screw, it sorted of smooth out. I donít know how fast we were going, but the little four banger was screaming in my ear. I just got the screwdriver on the second adjusting screw of the second carburetor, when Dick shifted into second gear. At this point I got a little worried about my position on the fender. I continue turning the adjustment screw, but when Dick shifted into third gear, my worry turned to FEAR.

My tee shirt was up over my head and flopping in the wind, flying insects were impacting my buttocks and bare back. I was yelling with everything I had, but it did not have any effect on Dick. I push the screwdriver between some wires on the fender, and then took hold of a black box on the firewall, and hope Dick would not shift into fourth gear.

Dick started down shifting and slowing down; at last he pulled over to the side of the road. I was attached to the car; I could not move a muscle. Dick got out of the car and came around to the front.

"Dick, pull my right foot out." Once my foot was pulled from its locked position behind the bumper, I sat it on the ground. "Now get my left foot. Dick did not say word, he was just smiling. Dick had to twist my foot to get out of the grill, once the leg and foot was cleared, I rolled off the fender onto the ground.

I was in pain, I had a Charlie horse in both legs, and I was mad as hell. I stood up and started hoping around, trying to work the Charlie horse out my legs. I took off my tee shirt, and asked Dick to bush off my back. I turned my back to Dick, and he started laughing.

"Man! John, you got bug guts and bits of wings all over your back."

I have to stop here, I said a few choice words, I donít want to print, but I did found out Dick could run faster then me.

After factÖ This was the last adventure I had with Dick, he moved to California soon afterwards, I donítí know if I had anything to do with it.

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