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India in the 1950s
and 60s
Life after marriage
By Sunita
Rajiv Chikhalikar
Prologue
India is a country of many states. Customs and traditions in different
households in each state vary as per the methods adopted by their
respective forefathers.
I come from the state of Maharashtra. Marathi is my mother-tongue. All
the special terms used in this article are in Marathi language.
This article can be read in continuation with my previous one:
India in the 1950s and 60s: Dating and Marriage.
Life after marriage
In my household, the newly married couple, especially the bride, would
gradually acclimatize to the daily routine in her new home.
The news of a pregnancy would be a hush-hush affair. In the third month
of pregnancy, a private function called ‘Chor Choli’ involving only the
girl’s parents and in-laws would be held. In Marathi, ‘Chor’ means
thief and ‘Choli’ means blouse. This meant secretly gifting a blouse
piece each by the mother and the mother-in-law to the girl, to
congratulate her on her pregnancy.
The blouse would generally be green;
an auspicious symbol for a married woman. In recent times, saris along
with blouses are presented.
In the seventh and ninth months of pregnancy, a grand function called
‘Dohal Jevan’ would be held. ‘Dohal’ means craving for certain foods.
Thus ‘Dohal Jevan’ was a means to satisfy the food cravings of the
pregnant girl.
The most common craving would be for raw mangoes or its
pickle. Some would like to eat tamarinds. In the function, wholesome
nutritious meals would be prepared and sweetmeats like pedhas, burfis,
etc. would be covered and placed in front of the girl, in a plate laden
with other covered food items. In Marathi, generally each food item is
referred to as having a gender. For example, ‘Bhat’, i.e., rice is
masculine and ‘Poli’ i.e. Chapati is feminine. Similarly, the above
referred sweetmeats Pedhas are masculine and Burfis are feminine.
Now
the girl is asked to select any one item. Once this is done, the
selected food is exposed and announced to all the relatives present
there. Depending upon the selected item and its gender, there would be
a good-natured speculation on the gender of the unborn baby.
Naturally,
the probability would be 50% and many a time, the baby would be of
exactly the opposite gender as that on speculation; but still, this
function is popular, more so for the girl, who is about to step into a
very important phase of motherhood in her life and who derives
wholesome satisfaction by so many well-meaning near and dear ones, who
light up her life just by their presence on the scene.
On this
occasion, the girl would be adorned with flower garlands on her wrists,
neck, waist, head and crown and a basket of flowers would she hold in
her hand. She would thus be photographed in a photo studio.
The ‘Dohal Jevan’ would be conducted first at the place of the girl’s
mother, then at her mother-in-law’s i.e. her own home and later on
close relatives would invite her in their homes. Everywhere the
procedure followed would be the same.
Then she would be brought by her
father from her in-laws’ to her parents’ home. She would be registered
at a nearby hospital. Her first baby would be delivered here and her
parents would take up all responsibilities pre- and post- delivery
period. The husband and in-laws would periodically visit her and by
mutual consent, an auspicious date for the cradle ceremony (naming
ceremony) called ‘Barsa’ would be fixed.
In Marathi, ‘Bara’ means
twelve; this function would take place on the twelfth day. An
astrologer would be consulted and he would study the child’s horoscope.
He would then suggest the auspicious alphabet/s with which the child’s
name should begin.
The child’s aunt (father’s sister) in consultation
with its parents would whisper the decided name in the child’s ear. It
would also be addressed by four other names. Nowadays, this ceremony is
conducted when the baby is two to three months old; when the mother and
child are physically strong enough to withstand the ritual.
The second child would be delivered at a hospital near her in-laws’
home (i.e. the girl’s home after marriage) and all responsibilities
would be borne by her husband and his parents.
Generally when the boy-child became eleven months old, a barber would
be called home and his hair would either be shorn or cut for the first
time. This function was called ‘Javal’.
Every year, the birthdays of the children would be celebrated with joy
and gaiety.
‘Munj’ or the thread ceremony would be arranged when the boy attained
the age of eight. In this ceremony, he is introduced to the basic
religious customs in the family and made to understand what is right
and wrong in life. A sacred three layered strong thread is worn on his
body across the chest from one side of his neck to the other side of
his waist.
These are the various functions and events that took place in my family
in the 50s and 60s.
As the children grew up, they would be showered with love and affection
in an environment graced by the grandparents, parents, maternal
unmarried aunts, uncles and their families. This is also the period
when the importance of family ties begins taking deep roots in the
children’s minds.
Go
to Rewind the Fifties Home |
This is the photograph of my mother taken
in 1962, before the birth of my elder brother. She is shown as
sitting on the moon- a cleverly erected set in the studio.
This is the photograph of a relative at a
naming ceremony with the child in the cradle. After the ‘Barsa’, the
husband would fetch his wife and baby home from her parents’ house.
This is my photograph on my second
birthday, when I was presented with a rocking wooden horse.
This is the photograph of my elder brother
with relatives at this thread ceremony.
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